Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The day we quarrelled in front of our children

One day, my husband and I argued in front of our children. Hubby walks out. The eyes of our children were suddenly all on me. I was almost tempted to blurt out: "What did I do?" But I did not. Instead, I said what I thought was the right thing to do. Process them.

"Okey guys, what your dad just did was wrong." Then pause....

"But what I did was even more wrong. I should have just kept quiet."

Leadership, whether in the family or at work, is always lived by example. We cannot expect our children or our subordinates to do what is right when they see us act otherwise.

Thankfully, it is never too late to do the right thing.

The Bible gives us a lot of examples on leadership. Leaders of different types and characters. Thankfully, it also shows us that even great leaders are humans. And just like everyone of us, they commit mistakes. Take Moses as an example. Moses was a reluctant leader. He made all the excuses. He angered God to the point that God intended to kill him. (Exodus 4:24) Yet, God used Moses to bring Israel out of Egypt.

There are many interesting things to learn about the leadership style of Moses. I'd like to share an excerpt from The Maxwell Leadership Bible:

by John Maxwell

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heat. You shall them them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. -- Deuteronomy 6:5-7

An old phrase says, "The leader's job is to keep the main thing, the main thing." Moses attempts this in Deuteronomy 6 by reminding the Israelites that their existence revolves around loving God. He also tells family leaders how to transfer truth to their children. Reggie Joiner notes the principles Moses develops:
  1. Relationship comes before rules.
  2. Truth must be in you before it can be in them.
  3. Each day offers natural opportunities for teaching.
  4. Repitition is the teacher's best friend.
Make use of all of those opportunities. Decide on issues you can discuss and ask questions of each other. Pray about your priorities together.

POSTSCIPT: Catch John Maxwell live in Manila on June 10, Edsa Shangrila Hotel. For details, call 8132732 or 03. Look for Juliet. Or reserve online at www.saltandlightventures.net.

Photo from: http://rattletattle.com

1 comment:

  1. This is has been quite a challenge for me as well. In fact, I consider the most humiliating moments of my married life are the times when I grossly answer back to my husband. There have been occasions when I did this in front of my two boys.As a rule though, we gather together as a family when things cool down after a fight. For a more relaxing environment we usually we go out to a nice restaurant for dinner, then there we apologize to our children with my husband taking the lead.I have a certain pride and really, do not find this easy to do...but it has saved us from the deeper consequences of just letting things flow without acknowledging our mistakes and weaknesses.

    Very insightful read..thank you..