Looking back at 2006

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Originally uploaded by luisa_m_c_m_cruz.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

I've been intending to update this blog in time for the New Year but a million and one other things came in between. Too many good things just happened in 2006 and it's a shame to let them pass without giving credit where credit is due -- to Him, the Creator of everything, my Eternal Father, the Source of all good things.

Last year was probably the worst year for our family, yet it was also the best. Let me share with you the highlights:

* Rick Warren Live in Manila, The Purpose Driven Congress - Just when I was wondering if I was on the right track, I received a call asking me to help out organize the visit of Purpose Driven Life author Rick Warren. Rick has a ministry in the Philippines and wants to reach out to at least 20,000 leaders who might be able to influence this nation for God's glory. Thank God for Pastor Dong Cucio who gave me that unexpected but welcome call.

* New home, we're back in Sikatuna Village -- In 2005, we moved to Don Antonio Heights after finding what we thought was the most ideal place for home-office set-up. We gave up the condo unit we rented in Ortigas Center and the apartment in Sikatuna to move in to a bigger place in a residential village. We loved the place, 550 sqm, with a nice garden, a patio ideal for al fresco breakfast or dinner and big space for the kids to run around. But our quite life got spoiled only a year later when we were victimized by akyat-bahay gang not once but thrice. The last straw came when the robber tried to get in the house by destroying the kitchen screen and picking on the locks. Thank God for waking up my nephew Carlo just in time before the robber got in. Immediately that morning we looked for a house. Providentially, we found one just three gates away from our girls' school. So by end of July, exactly a year after we moved in to Don Antonio, we moved out and went back to Sikatuna. By God's favor, our landlady discounted our rent by 15%. What more, our new home has more amenities and is much bigger in floor area. Praise God!

* Denis Waitley and Tribute to Teachers. Another great motivator, world-renowned author Denis Waitley's word keeps on ringing in my mind: "Plant the seed of greatness!" I won't forget the story he told of the nurse who patiently took care of a little girl everybody thought was hopeless. Years later, the little girl became well enough to be a teacher. She returned the kindness shown to her by taking care of another seemingly hopeless girl. The seed of greatness planted by the unnamed nurse in the life of Anne Sullivan made a big impact on Hellen Keller, the great visually-impaired activist. Thanks to Ardy & Tingting Roberto and Carol Roa of Salt & Light Ventures for the great learning experience.

* New "baby" and a miscarriage of sorts -- In September last year, I wrote an entry about "losing a baby." It's proverbial, of course. It's actually a project I consider as one of my precious babies as a public relations consultant. But while I felt sad, I knew God had other plans for me and I knew His plans are always the best. Prior to the "miscarriage," God gave me a new baby -- a consultancy work with Unicef's HIV/AIDS Programme. Looking back, it was again divine providence. I've learned so much in my short stint with Unicef, and the best part of it, I enjoyed every day of it.

* Our healing journey -- I call it as healing journey even though up to now, Ben and Star are not yet completely well. We are still waiting for the results of Star's medical tests at Queen Mary Hospital in Hongkong, while Ben's latest xray results showed he still has some fluid in his lungs. But we believe God will completely heal both of them. It's just a matter of time. As I mentioned in my posts about Star, doctors suspect she has a rare blood disorder called Von Willebrand Disease. This kind of disorder is hereditary and it is said that hereditary illnesses are generational curses. We are believing that this curse will stop with Star and that she will be miraculously healed of this even though doctors say this is a lifetime disease. On the other hand, Ben's vulnerability to lung infection could because of his being premature. When he was born, his lungs had not yet fully developed. He always has pneumonia. But we are believing, like Star's, Ben's ailment will soon be gone, completely healed. Surely, nothing is too difficult for God.

* Another "baby" -- The Room Upstairs, that is, owned by talented couple Ari and Pinky Peralta. Thanks to good friends Ammi Armas and Benjie, Pinky's brother, who recommended me.

* * *
Romans 8:28 had never been so real for me. We faced the greatest trial ever, yet through it, we felt much, much closer to God. I lost something, yet I gained more.
Never before had we experienced God as our Jehovah Jireh (God our Provider) as dramatic as we did in 2006. He provided us not only with the finances we needed, but also friends who walked with us and prayed for us, with strength to go on trusting even though the horizon didn't seem clear, and most of all, with precious lessons we would have otherwise not learned if everything was well.

Truly, God is good all the time!

The Birthing of Ben

LIGHT. The very first real word of my son Ben. Aside, of course, from the usual “Mommy, Daddy.” Quite significant to us. Since he came to the world, Ben became the light of our lives. The center of our attention. But most of all, the eye-opener to the many wonderful things God has given us.

Every day as I look at him, I am reminded of God’s greatness and His overflowing love for us. Ben became a constant reminder of God’s miracles.

I should say Ben is a miracle baby. Being born a week short of his seventh month, like many pre-term babies, he had very weak lungs. At birth, he suffered pneumonia. No thanks to the erratic climate in December, I caught flu and infected the baby inside my womb.

Ben is our first-born, and my husband and I live all by our twosome in a rented house in Diliman. Our families were all in the province and nobody was there to give me tips on pregnancy except my doctor. Thus, when a rush of water came out two nights before I delivered Ben, I was not really bothered. I just thought I had a urinary tract infection.

In the morning, before I left for the office, I called my doctor to tell her of my “little inconvenience.” But I was told that my “little inconvenience” was in fact, something to be alarmed about. It was my bag of water that had already ruptured and any time thereafter, the baby would come out.

My husband and I immediately proceeded to the hospital.

My OB-Gyne reprimanded me for taking my health for granted. She said the baby had very little chance for survival since it was so premature. I never stopped crying on my way to the delivery room. I asked God over and over again to save me and my precious baby. What of the many months I carried it in my womb? How I would giggle at times when it would tickle me with its endless kicking.

One night, while watching Gary V.’s concert at the Araneta Coliseum, it was kicking endlessly as if Gary V. Himself was inside me.

I lost conciousness the moment I gave my hardest push. When I woke up, a doctor spoke to me. I delivered a baby boy. She said the baby was very weak but that they would do everything to save him. The best neonatologist in the hospital was assigned to him.

A few hours after I was brought to my room, Ben’s neonatologist came. She was a kind-looking Chinese doctor in her mid-40s. She smiled but there was a trace of sadness in her eyes. True, she confirmed my baby’s predicament. His lungs were full of phlegm. His breathing was very irregular. Thus, he had to be attached to a cepop, a gadget that would regulate his breathing. He was also attached to an oxygen tube, and a dextrose drip where they would administer the medicine.

Ben was under observation for 72 hours. If he survived that period, then he might live. However, the doctor could not tell us what his chances of survival were. All she kept on saying was, “Just pray.” I did not want to listen to her and I refused to hear her say that my son was on the brink of death. How could he be?

I remembered how restless he was inside my womb on the morning I thought I had UTI. It was as if I heard a little voice saying, “Mom, let me get out of here.” To which I answered slyly, “Hey, baby, not your time yet.”

While I was in deep thought, the doctor handed me a photograph of a frail baby inside an incubator. He had a tube in each nostril, another tube in the mouth and a dextrose IV on the right hand. Tears flowed from my eyes when I realized that the helpless little thing inside the glass box was, after all, my precious one. My husband just stared in awe. We both could hardly believe that the bundle of joy we waited for many months might not even live for a day.

Though it was still excruciatingly painful to even take a step, I insisted on going out of the room to make phonecalls at the nurses’ station. I called up just anybody who came to mind – relatives, friends, and even officemates – to ask them to offer prayers for our baby.

I left the hospital two days later. Shortly before we went home, my husband and I went to the intensive care section of the hospital’s nursery. I unashamedly cried upon seeing my baby for the first time. The moment I set my eyes on him, I knew he was mine. He was beautiful, albeit tiny. Only a little over three pounds, he was the smallest baby in the nursery. He looked much like his father – wide-templed, nicely-shaped nose, oblong face.

When Ben was four days old, we received an urgent call from his doctor. She told us to immediately proceed to the hospital. Ben stopped breathing the night before and he might not be able to make it anymore. I felt numb all over my body as she narrated what occured the previous night. A few hours before he stopped breathing, he was so restless. His breathing became more irregular, stopping for a few seconds on some occassion. Sensing that the baby was weakening, the doctor never left his side. Then at about midnight, he just lay inside the incubator motionless, and no longer breathing. To revive him, he was attached to a ventilator to push his lungs to breathe.

Hardly even combing my hair, I grabbed my husband who went back to sleep after doing a bucketful of laundry. I was crying all the way to the hospital. I kept on praying to the Lord to spare our son. At the same time, asking Him to get Ben if he was not really meant for us. Ben might be very precious to us being our first-born, but what parents could bare look at their little one suffer?

At the hospital, the doctor brought us inside the receiving room of the nursery. She explained to us why Ben stopped breathing. Since he was very premature, his lungs had not fully developed. There was no surfactant in his alveoli – the fluid which enables our alveoli to open and close when we inhale and exhale.

When the doctor brought us to Ben, I could hardly look at him. Aside from the tube in each nostril, both of his hands now each had a dextrose. His hair was shaved off so that another IV could be placed on his head. The last time I saw him, he was moving a bit. But now, he was very still.

In the 20 days or so that followed, we would either see our son or call the doctor to check on his condition. Day after day, the doctor would tell us to keep on praying. We never ceased to do so. We knew only our insistent prayers could save him.

Ben’s condition slowly improved. One after the other, the gadgets attached to him were removed. Until, only an IV and an oxygen tube were left. Then one day, not even the oxygen was left.

Exactly 27 days after he was born, Ben came home with us. Words are not enough to express the hapiness we felt that finally God had answered our prayers.

Ben is so amused with lights. Every time he says “light” while pointing at it, I hug him and tell him, “Son, you are the light to us.”

Like the light, he brightens up our home with the sweet little things that he does. And most of all, he enlightened our minds and heart to the truth that God does perform wonders.



(This article came out in the Youngblood section of the Philippine Daily Inquirer in May 1996. Ben is now 10 years old, here shown with his Dad. Above, Daddy carries little Ben, who was miraculously discharged from the hospital 27 days after his birth.)